INTJ FAQ: Dealing with INTJ’s<\/a>, “Don’t expect [INTJs] to respect you or your viewpoints just because you say so. INTJ respect must be earned.”\n<\/p>\n\nTo us INTJs, this is practical. Actions speak louder than words; we are not predisposed to take things on faith. But that does not translate into being untrusting or suspicious. That would mean I started off everyone with a negative score. And I don’t. I just expect people to prove their worth, or their worthlessness.\n<\/p>\n
\nI perceive myself as trusting because initially I give people the benefit of the doubt. Everyone starts off at +1–with some notable exceptions. When I’m driving, for instance, I eye all other drivers with a -1 suspicion that they are out to crush my Miata. Their score is automatically set at -5 if they are either in a SUV or on a cellphone, at -10 if both conditions are true.\n<\/p>\n
\nMy friend had the bad luck of asking to borrow books after my experience of someone else not returning them. Had I not been trusting, I wouldn’t have lent her any books at all–even though the fault was not hers. Instead, I gave her the +1 credit; I’ll lend you this book but you have to earn my trust by returning it before I’ll lend you any more.\n<\/p>\n
\nI love hearing the things that other people remember about me. This incident happened almost 20 years ago and she’s never forgotten it. For her, it is a clue into my personality, a telling reaction that explains my social interactions. For me, it was no big deal. In fact, I don’t remember the incident at all–only her telling of it.\n<\/p>\n
\nMy point is that I never thought having few friends was a result of my J-type judgmentalness. I just assumed it was from my I-type introversion.\n<\/p>\n
\nLike most I-types, I have a few very close friends rather than a lot of acquantances. JQS described the tendency of us I-types to prefer to be “one of the few, the chosen” thusly, “If everyone’s your friend then the fact that you call me your friend is meaningless.” Yes, that’s us. We prefer to be singled out. To be special. To be one of the inner circle. And we confer upon our friends the honor of membership in our inner circle.\n<\/p>\n
\nResponding to the pressure that E-types place on us I-types to be more like them (ranging from calling us shy to calling us snooty), I have on many occasions throughout my life made an effort to be more gregarious. My journal is filled with descriptions of people I hardly remember meeting and my earnest attempts to be attentive to them. (Sometimes I think I should delete them from my journals and permanently erase them from my life–for there is no life within my life unless it’s written down).\n<\/p>\n
\nI think that the bottom line is that I find most people boring after awhile. That’s probably worse than not trusting them. I think dealing with a person I didn’t trust could be pretty interesting.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Untrusting, judgmental, or just easily bored? <\/p>\n
Read More<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zanthan.com\/wordsintobytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2236"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zanthan.com\/wordsintobytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zanthan.com\/wordsintobytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zanthan.com\/wordsintobytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zanthan.com\/wordsintobytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2236"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.zanthan.com\/wordsintobytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2236\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2242,"href":"https:\/\/www.zanthan.com\/wordsintobytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2236\/revisions\/2242"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zanthan.com\/wordsintobytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2236"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zanthan.com\/wordsintobytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2236"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zanthan.com\/wordsintobytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2236"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}