\nWith Respect to the Japanese was published in 1984 as the Japanese economic juggernaut loomed over the US. At that time, Americans eyed Japan with the twin emotions of fear and wonder. What\u2019s happened to American companies? Why don\u2019t we have anything like Sony or Toyota? (This was before Apple, Amazon, and Google.)\n<\/p>\n
\nThis is a cross-cultural guide to explain how our nations\u2019 communication and management styles differ. This slim volume (92 pages including appendices) contains a surprising amount of useful information. What I like about it is that it provides a lot of specific concrete example and looks at them from both points of view, not taking sides. It fulfills its promise to \u201cdescribe exactly what is encountered, why, and what to do about it. Readers discover what will embarrass, motivate, irritate, and win the respect of the foreign nationals with whom they are trying to work.\u201d (George W. Renwick. Editor, Interact Series).\n<\/p>\n
\nI\u2019m reminded very much of Myers-Briggs (of course). Simply, there are different styles. Neither is better; they are just different approaches. if you have one style, these are the things that annoy you about the other. If you were to take it a step further and type the two nations according to the communication styles described in With Respect to the Japanese, Japan would be an ENFP and the US would be an ISTJ.\n<\/p>\n
\nThe pun in the title pleases me. \u201cRespect\u201d comes from the Latin \u201cto look back at, regard\u201d but has evolved the connotation of \u201cadmire\u201d or \u201cesteem\u201d. I like that these words (admire, regard, respect) have their root in \u201clooking at\u201d something. I do believe that study begets understanding begets respect.\n<\/p>\n
\nI hope it is not to bold to say that America, which has more often stressed its uniqueness and served as a teacher for other countries and cultures, is now much more open to learning from others. (Kohei Goshi) \u2014 Foreword p xxi\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nI would like to believe this too but it seems less true today in 2011 than it did in 1984. Even though I\u2019ve just read this book, I expressed the same sentiment in my interview for my teaching job in Japan. I wanted to bring my 10-year-old son to Japan because I felt it was just as important for our children to learn about Japan as it was for their children to study English and learn about America.\n<\/p>\n
\nContradictions exist in every society\u2026They are even more likely to reflect the outsider\u2019s expectation of what is consistent and contradictory based on his own cultural background. \u2013 Introduction p xvi\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nI\u2019m also frequently surprised at what Americans define as contradictory. The choice here always seems to be either\/or. You\u2019re with us or you\u2019re against us. I frequently want to choose both, neither, or look for some possibility not yet discussed. I\u2019m drawn to both old and new, silly and serious, plans and impulses.\n<\/p>\n
\nIn contrast to Americans, who believe that anyone could, and probably would if given half a chance, become an American, the Japanese find it hard to accept that anyone could become Japanese. \u2013 Introduction p xvi\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nI was never more American, specifically Texan, than when I lived in Japan. My national identity swelled to the proportion of caricature. Although I tried to \u201cfit in\u201d in the sense of not doing anything to embarrass my friends or employer and although I was very interested in learning as much about Japan as I could, I never wanted to become Japanese. And I never felt, as so many foreigners apparently do, \u201cshut out\u201d. On the contrary, I sometimes used my foreign-ness to my advantage. It allowed me to say no in situations where my coworkers were bound by expectation and duty.\n<\/p>\n
\nJapanese are not likely to confuse the outward appearances with the inner reality. \u2013 p 4\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nMe either! Or as Milan Kundera put it, \u201cOn the surface, an intelligible lie; underneath, the unintelligible truth.\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cIf you notice a difference, realize that the difference in itself may not be so important\u2026look for the underlying meanings.\u201d \u2014 (an American consultant) p 6\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nThis has always been my approach to whomever\u2013not just one I used in Japan. Hmmm. Maybe that\u2019s why I find ordinary daily interactions with strangers to be exhausting and why I prefer to have a few close friends to a lot of acquaintances. I like puzzling people out but it\u2019s tiring to spend all my time doing it. It\u2019s also probably why people bounce their relationship problems off me even though I\u2019m not perceived as being a \u201cpeople\u201d person.\n<\/p>\n
\nLikewise Japanese find some expressions of individualism rude and anti-social. Americans tend to speak in terms of \u201cmy opinion\u201d and \u201cI think\u201d and so on, in order to be both personal and cautious about speaking for others. Nevertheless, the impression given can be one of egotism. \u2013 p 9\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nIMHO. Yes, sometimes we are being self-deprecating. So much so that I remember one of my professors (Bro Simon Scribner) becoming exasperated when a student would preface an answer with \u201cI think\u201d or worse \u201cI feel\u201d. He\u2019d shoot back, \u201cDon\u2019t you KNOW?\u201d In the 1980s, women in business (whose speech was filled with disclaimers) were cautioned not to speak so cautiously. Americans are perfectly aware of that this phrase cuts both ways. IMHO also signals sarcasm. \u201cThis is always said before someone makes an asshole comment that is not at all humble.\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\nThe funniest thing about this miscommunication is that Japanese itself contains humble and honorific forms. Prefacing something with \u201cI think\u201d is probably the closest English equivalent to Japanese humble forms. And yet somehow it doesn\u2019t translate.\n<\/p>\n
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\nAmericans and others who work with Japanese sometimes underestimate the value placed on of doing things \u201cright.\u201d \u2013 p 17\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nI love John C. Condon\u2019s understated tone; it sounds so Japanese. Form, formality, and manners. Whole books could be written on Americans discomfort with formality. We dislike rules. We are stubbornly contrary\u2013to the point of doing the opposite of what we\u2019re told simply because we\u2019re told this is the way to do something.\n<\/p>\n
\nIn Japan, there is always \u201cthe way\u201d: chadou, the way of tea; shodou, the way of writing (calligraphy); kendou the way of the sword; bushidou, the way of the Samurai; juudou, the way of the weak (flexible and bending).\n<\/p>\n
\nThus behavior that is appropriate within one\u2019s group may be expected to be different from behavior that is appropriate with people outside of one\u2019s group. \u2013 p 28\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nWhat is considered contradictory, even duplicitous, by some Americans just seems like common sense to me. You don\u2019t act the same way around your boss as you do around your kids. John C. Condon goes onto explain other consequences: once you let someone into the inner circle both of you have acquired a new set of responsibilities and duties.\n<\/p>\n
\nI remember how the JET administrators tried to \u201crat us out\u201d to our schools for not attending a seminar\u2019s closing conference session. They wanted us to get in trouble with our bosses. But from the school\u2019s perspective, I was on their team and they felt forced to defend, not punish, me. And from my perspective, I understood that I had caused problems for my school, not just myself.\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201c\u2026to cause embarrassment or to be embarrassed, disturbs the delicate web of relationships\u2026[in Japan] the primary means of social control [is] shame. Japan is often identified as a \u201cshame culture\u201d where proper behavior is ensured through outside social pressure. This contrasts with the kind of controls identified with American, and Western social societies generally, where it is the internal feelings, guilt, that are said to guide behavior\u2026concern for what others think, most importantly those others who constitute one\u2019s group, is a basic value and fact of life in Japan. \u2013 30\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nOne of the sections that I found most interesting was \u201cWords in and out of context\u201d. John C. Condon explains that \u201cAmerica ranks very high in its trust in words and very low in its reliance on context.\u201d Compared with the Japanese, we want everything spelled out (preferably by lawyers in binding contracts). The Japanese tend not to take words at face value and rely on other clues to understand what\u2019s going on beneath the surface. \u201cFor Americans, using words is the means of communication. For Japanese it is a means.\u201d (Masao Kunihiro).\n<\/p>\n
\nBecause JQS and I understood very little Japanese when we lived there, we relied almost entirely on context clues to figure out what was going on around us when no one was there to interpret for us. Luckily we are both intuitive. We didn\u2019t understand the words but we often understood the meaning.\n<\/p>\n
\nThe awase<\/i> style\u2026is characterized by continuous adjustment to an ever changing environment\u2026one cannot proceed toward a fixed goal but rather must adjust to changing and uncertain condition.\u201d \u2013 p 48\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nThis is my personal style even though I\u2019m not Japanese. As I said earlier, I don\u2019t like either\/or choices.\n<\/p>\n
\nWhere I come across as typically American is my habit of relating something that someone tells me to my own experience. It is my T-type way of expressing empathy\u2013demonstrating that I understand because I have shared a common experience. I\u2019m sensitive to the fact that other people (not just the Japanese) interpret this as an egotistical attempt to turn the focus of the conversation back to me. This is probably true some of the time. Conversely, if I\u2019m asking you a lot of follow-up questions and not revealing anything about myself, I\u2019m holding you at arm\u2019s length.\n<\/p>\n
\nAmericans simply are not encouraged by their culture to have the kind of reverence for age that Japanese culture instills\u2026American culture looks more to innovation, change, energy\u2013qualities associated with younger people and appropriate to a younger nation. \u2013 p 57\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nThe opposite situation occurs for Japanese who work for American companies in New York or elsewhere. They feel frustrated and left out when all of their American colleagues leave work and head for home. They feel there is no chance to get to know these people or to become friends or to hear and say some things that don\u2019t get said at the office. \u2013 p 59\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nNevertheless, the American makes a mistake if he strictly follows what his culture encourages: \u201cDon\u2019t let personal feelings get in the way.\u201d The American is more likely to be concerned with adhering to certain principles, of being fair and treating people like equals. In speaking of these values, one Japanese said, \u201cThose are fine qualities, but they are qualities of the head. We Japanese react from the heart or the hara, the gut.\u201d Japanese describe themselves as \u201cemotional people\u201d and many view Americans as excessively \u201crational,\u201d by being logical, analytical and following abstract principles at the expense of personal feelings. \u2013 p 71\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nAs a T-type (head rules the heart), I\u2019m the typical American as described. However, I perceive American culture as being increasingly emotional, confessional, and faith-based. We tend to react rather than contemplate. Oprah Winfrey. Reality TV. Rush Limbaugh. Twitter. Glenn Beck. Has there really been such a shift since 1984? Or is it that I now spend more time on the Internet than at the office?\n<\/p>\n
\nGiven the Japanese ability to borrow what is attractive in things foreign and modify them for Japanese use, while rejecting what is not desired, there is no reason to expect Japan to become like a \u201cWestern\u201d nation. \u2013 p 76\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nIn the decade after this book was written, when Japan\u2019s economic bubble burst, one of its most successful exports became culture.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
With Respect to the Japanese was published in 1984 as the Japanese economic juggernaut loomed over the US. At that time, Americans eyed Japan with the twin emotions of fear and wonder. What\u2019s happened to American companies? Why don\u2019t we have anything like Sony or Toyota? (This was before Apple, Amazon, and Google.) This is a cross-cultural guide to explain how our nations\u2019 communication and management styles differ. This slim<\/p>\n