Recently while I was bridling Bey, my Arabian mare, I went through my usual mantra of, "I know you don't like this chunk of metal in your mouth, but this is the only way that we can be together, so let's take it easy and open wide, there, that's not so bad, is it? Now we can go out together." I stroked her firm, warm neck.

And I thought of the idea "A bit like marriage." That is, a bit is like marriage because it can be hard and cold and painful, but it is what brings us together. Once Bey takes the bit in her mouth, she can warm it up and even enjoy chewing it a little. With the bit in her mouth, we run around together, breathe deep, see beauty everywhere. She does what she does best--run--and I get to come along.

Marriage can be harsh and I sometimes wonder what I was thinking, but it links me to a man I love and there is good in that.

And maybe the bit (the marriage) teaches us things and leads us where we wouldn't otherwise go and challenges us and enriches us. We already know how much it hurts. So now we have to find the good behind that.