Dani was in the hospital for twelve days, restrained and fighting against the oxygen mask and IVs . We took turns with him again around the clock. The nurses at UMC Cardiac
Care3 Unit were really great and very compassionate.

I really thought he was coming home until Sunday morning when his heart rate went up to 170. Prior to that they weren't releasing him to hospice care because his prognosis wasn't terminal. Once his heart rate went up and stayed there, it was an indication of congestive heart failure, and they sent him to Nathan Adelson Hospice. He was only there a day and a half. I went by on my lunch hour.

I arrived at 12:00, and he was breathing very hard. We swabbed his mouth of some of the phlegm, and tried to give him a drink, but he couldn't take anything. He began to choke on the stuff in his mouth, but his lungs were so full of fluid, he couldn't cough. He expired at 12:15. and my efforts to resuscitate him were in vain. I couldn't even blow air into him.

Mom and I and Mary were there. I sobbed uncontrollably until Dad arrived 20 minutes later. Soon everyone came, Ed,Jenny, Katherine, Rachel, Mark,and Carol (who had happened by on her lunch hour with some food). We stayed for three hours, crying and consoling each other. We recalled old times, slinky traps, Dani surprising the dog by throwing the blanket on her. His figuring out the light switch, learning to clap to indicate he wanted a bath.

I figured he was gone. But Dad said,"Bunkers Brothers is coming, and we don't all need to be here for that, so maybe we should say our Goodbyes now." As soon as he said the word "now" both the door to the room, and the door to the patio swung completely open and completely shut with a "slam!" So I think his spirit hung around until then. Mom says Blessed Mother Mary came and took him, as she is known to "come in the wind".

The viewing and Rosary was on Friday. We said the Glorious mysteries, instead of the Sorrowful. The next day Mass was held at St. Bridget's. Betsy and Steve did the music, and Jenny did the Readings. Most of us men were pall bearers. Father Jim said the Mass of the Angels instead of the Mass of the Dead, as is fitting for children six and under.

At the graveside, I played the Elton John song "Daniel" on guitar and many people helped me sing, including Mary, Mark, Jenny, and Betsy.

You can hear a very good version of 'Danny Boy' at this site.

http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/365/eternal_traditions.html

Kind regards

R.J.Murphy

Sorry to hear of your loss. It is true that Danny Boy is a secular song 'that is anti-protestant'. Would you be as as happy to sing a song about being anti-color or anti-Jewish in your Catholic Church "I think not". Just because people don't know the meaning of the song is no excuse. I feel the Bishop should be praised for his actions as unlike most Americans he seem to understand the real problem behind the troubles in Northern Ireland.

Did you know Danny Boy was written by an Englishman called Fred Weatherley in 1910. Fred who was born in 1848 and had never been to Ireland when he wrote the song. So it has nothing to do with Ireland but is English. Don't take my word for it check it out for yourselves.

It's clear from what I can see that your brother Dani was very loved. It's difficult to put into words what the song "Danny Boy" invokes in most of us, but the haunting words and melody somehow go straight to a special spot of solace, usually ending up by turning on waterworks.
Bless your brother and bless your family.

Danny boy is the song i will have played at my funeral. The problem with religion is religion. Its not with God, I have found after many years that if its not good its bad. I have lost many people in my life. I know absent from the body you are then present with the lord. God loves your brother more than you can fathom, or understand. He loves us all more than any human understanding. His way are not are ways. People say that people become angels. Not true angels are made seperate from man. If aday in heaven as a thousand years on earth then by the time you die your brother will have only been there a few min.

Danny Boy. These words express the heartfelt promise of eternal loyalty and ceaseless faithfulness. This colorful harmonious melody sweetly throbs between sad nolstagia and a surging upwelling of hopefulness. In this world of the living, there be just a mere handful of such songs of such gentle tenderness, such as Amazing Grace and En Mi Viejo San Juan. This song is ever so poingant for us today even though written nearly a centry ago. And yet so appropiate for the dearly departed. May the God you worship bring you peace of mind and heart M Sinclair Stevens.

Having read the report of the good Bishop's decision, I feel rather confused. When does a comforting melody become "hearcy"? Being of protestant faith (and of good Irish ancestry), I was pleasantly suprised when a Catholic Army Chaplain was called upon to officiate a Protestant service due to the lack of a Protestant Chaplain, and had the troops sing "Amazing Grace". With all due respect, I feel the Good Bishop may have had his priorities misplaced. May God hold you in the palm of His hand until you meet your brother again.

It is so sad that the catholic church dictates to us, and denies us those very things that comfort us. We just recently lost our son Daniel on Aug 21, 2003, he was killed in our car accident. The two songs we find most comforting are Danny Boy and Elton John's Daniel. My son Richard had considered giving a eulogy for his brother at the funeral mass but we were told by the priest that would not be appropriate during the mass. My son had gone to an Irish Catholic High School and I was fortunate that the people from his school took control of his mass. Although my son found he was unable to do a eulogy, it was comforting to know he would be able to if he so desired. I was also told that it would be inappropiate for family members to serve as pallbearers. My two sons and son-in-law did serve as pallbearers with the funeral director telling us it would be appropriate since after all, we should carry our own. One of my most memorable moments was when we left Daniel's wake. We went to the parking lot and our son Richard, who is only a little over a year older than Daniel, had Puff Daddy's "I'll Be Missing You" blasting from his car stereo. Richard, my other children, and friends had formed a circle, their arms wrapped across each others shoulders. We had walked into the parking lot with a Deacon from Daniel's school. He said to us, " That in there was nice, but this is Danny." I also remember someone saying to me that if getting down on the ground and licking the dirt makes me feel better, then just do it! I believe that we know in our hearts what is right.

I just came from visiting my Dad's grave. Now, I finally get why he and my Aunt would shed a tear everytime they heard this song. It is very moving.

We had the same problem when my mom passed away. The priest would not let us play "Danny Boy" with the traditional lyrics. We were able to have a different song (same tune, different lyrics) played instead. I could not believe it. With all of the problems that the church is facing now, from pediophilic priests to the droves of young Catholics who have turned their back on the church, I would think that the good fathers would have more to worry about than the lyrics of the hymn at a funeral.

I recognize that some time has passed since the passing of your brother; however, I would like to extend my love and continued prayers to you and your family. I am an African -American Baptist and I have always loved this song. It has comforted me during some turmoil times in my life. I recently decided to research this song and it’s author for personal reasons. Thanks to this site and others like it I have been able to gain strength for the battles I’m facing in my life.

It's worth noting that the 'alternate' lyrics for Danny Boy most often used in church settings are from a song called

He Looked Beyond My Fault

Words 1st verse & chorus by Dottie Rambo (2003)
2nd verse by Jennifer M. Seest (1993)
Music is "Londonderry Aire"

Amazing Grace, shall always be my song of praise.
For it was grace that bought my liberty.
I do not know just why He came to love me so;
He looked beyond my fault and saw my need.

I shall forever lift my eyes to Calvary,
To view the cross where Jesus died for me.
How marvelous the grace that caught my falling soul;
He looked beyond my fault and saw my need.

Amazing grace, with joyful heart I sing of it;
For by His grace, He set my poor heart free!
And all my days, I'll never cease to sing His praise,
For all the glory, LORD, belongs to Thee!

WOW!
That song has always been one of my favorites...and my father has requested that us 9 children (and 30 grandchildren) sing it at his funeral (someday). He is soon to be 80 years old, and has outlived too many friends and relatives to count. As a memeber of "The Greatest Generation" (he fought in WWII) he deserves any song he wants played at his funeral. Being a non-denominational Christian, but raised in the Catholic church...I will feel free to sing the origional "Danny Boy" lyrics as well as the "new" ones...who the heck is going to "STOP" the funeral because I am singing my father's only requested song? Let us pray...
Sorry for your loss, but we will all be reunited in a land where there are no more tears or sorrow. Be sure to take advantage of the grieving process while still here in this one life, as there will be no place for it in the life to come. There can be joy in the midst of sorrow...ask Jesus to come into your heart, and for His Holy Spirit to bring comfort to you as well. Amen!

I agree it is wrong that "Danny Boy" cannot be heard in mass. It should be allowed at least to honor the men and women who died in the WTC. There is different ways to see something, to hear something, or to say something. If you look at "Danny Boy" and hear it as something to honor them then it isn't secular, it's honoring instead. (right)

The fact that a Roman Catholic Bishop would ban a secular song doesn't surprise me because I've had so many strange experiences caused by decrees from the Roman Catholic Church. I grew up in near Boston, Massachusetts. One friday, when I went into Boston to purchase clothes, a waitress refused to let me order me a bacon, lettuce and tomatoe sandwich because it was friday.When I realized that she was telling me I had to eat fish because it was friday and, at that time, Roman Catholics had to eat fish on friday, I looked at her and said, "I'm a Protestant."

To ban a song which does a superb job of conveying the feelings of those who have lost a loved one is rediculous. There is a dvd video which shows a what happened on 9/11. Two film makers were making a documentary on the New York Fire Department and they were filming the members of the fire house closest to the World Trade Towers. One of the men making the film was with a fire crew when the first plane struck the tower. It shows the inside of the towers when the fire department was setting up the command center. It contains the only footage which shows the second plane hitting the north tower. It ends with an Irish tenor singing Oh Danny Boy. It was the song the members of that fire house had requested and it conveyed their agony of losing so many friends so well that I can not think of a song which would have been more appropriate.

My sister went to the funeral of a friend today and someone sang this song. We are not Catholic, but this is such a beautiful song I just don't understand what it matters if it is sung to a secular tune. The words are just beautiful God bless you for sharing this.

You know, I stumbled on this site and haven't a clue how I found it. I believe I was led here for a reason. A friend of mine has a beautiful voice and he sent this song to me in an attachment. If you would like to have it, I would be so happy to share it with you. He didn't have the words to the last verse, but it is so wonderful. If you would like to have it, send me an email and I'll send it to you. May God bless you and keep you always under the shadow of His mighty wings. Psalm 91
Nancy Walker

It's funny how songs can touch people in different ways. When my Dad died nearly 15 years ago, we played "Ünchained Melody" at his funeral. This was by his request, a song of goodbye. A month later a good friend of mine got married and her wedding song was also "Unchained Melody". As my friend and her husband danced to their song, I wandered at the time whether they knew that the words of the song were fresh in my memory of saying bye to my own father.But it did not matter, the song was special to them for their own reasons. We are not called to judge. There are many beautiful songs of worship and praise, and there are also many songs we hold close because of the words, or the tune, or simply because we've heard it on the radio so many times we come to like the tune. though music can cause controversy, it can also hold great power. Having Danny Boy Played at your brothers funeral because of the sentiment it held in the family is, to me, a gift of the heart, and it is in our hearts where God knows all truth. form Janie-Lee, Australia.

very sorry to hear of you sad loss and this song is very moving to me also my dad would always sing it to me as my second name is daniel. And also so was my fathers. This song was written by an uslter american of his thoughts back home of ireland and it has been said that the came from the north. This song was sang at my fathers funeral as requested as one of his wishes and thankfully our minster allowed it, but i dont see why that he wouldn't. I dont understand with some people about things in northern ireland through all troubles and the volicence and murders that have happened on both sides both prodestant and catholic familys. And when i read some of your other comments about my fellow prodestants and about the song 'danny boy' if they seen who wrote the song they would see that he was an ustler american from up the north. I think this is a beautiful song and should be enjoyed by everyone after all its an old love song written in america of when she would ever see her danny boy again. how will there ever be peace in the world!! And i am very sorry to hear of your brothers death and my smpyathy goes out to you and all your family. And may it bring peace to your heart to no he suffers no more. To me and my family this is one of the best ever written song in the world showing of two peoples love, and i hope can be enjoyed by both prodestant and catholics. And may god have mercy on the souls of those who are not saved by the blood of the lamb and have confissed their sins to are lord jesus christ. Father i pray to you here today that anyone who reads this will come before you today and ask you to be there saviour today, to wash away all there sins, to give them a clean start for to man shall to your role of forgiving sins, no man in a box can forgive sins, jesus i ask you today to watch over everyone especially this lady who has lost her brother and just to watch over her and her family, in the name of jesus amen, god bless