Eleven years ago on this day and date, Tuesday July 2, I was indoors working on my computer while it poured outside, just as it is now, half a world away and several lives (and computers) later. Looking at these two dates, one could suppose my life hasn't progressed at all, for I have the same problem (too much time) and the same fear (that I'm frittering it away) resulting in the same compulsive behavior (writing it all down). But the truth is, though I've begun and ended at the same point, I haven't been standing here the whole time.
Eleven years ago I was intrigued by an essay about Lord Byron in William Maxwell's The Outermost Dream. In "Lord Byron's Financial Difficulties", Maxwell explains that Byron's steward, Antonio Lega Zambelli, "...kept detailed accounts of all expenditures, even the most trivial, and in general looked after his noble employer's interest with a zeal that bordered on the ridiculous." These accounts, however, became a goldmine to historians trying to ferret out the truth from the myths that surround Byron.
I spent many years involved in accounting for various reasons. I've always enjoyed balancing accounts because it provides a concrete satisfaction not found in teaching or writing. So eleven years ago, inspired by this essay, I tried an experiment to see whether I could document my life from my account books. In a time before the internet, I amused myself in strange ways with a zeal that borders on the ridiculous.
Tuesday July 2, 1991
12:44 Buy groceries at Toyomi. Go home. Eat lunch. At school, I continue to receive going-away presents. Akamine-sense gives me hashi-oke that her mother-in-law made. Yasanami-sensei gives me three yukata that her mother made.
17:15 Yoshiko and Miho come over for their tutoring session. We review time and months and play a game where they try slap the flash card of the word I'm saying. We have lots of fun and they make me think I like children after all. Teaching them English is a lot like playing games with JQS. I'm glad we've relaxed and gotten to know each other.
17:45 Rain keeps me at home and I spend the evening after my lesson on the computer. I decide to enter the information from June's receipts into my Book of Days. Of course, because it's from receipts, the calendar becomes merely a list of my purchases. It does serve as an outline, but an outline of factual events only, not a wisp of memory, feeling, or emotion. I want to merge the events I wrote in my black course diary, and then fill in with commentary. I consulted the black course diary a few times and find it interesting how little overlap there is. If someone were to try to reconstruct my life solely from the information in the receipts, it would be grossly distorted because all social events would be absent.
21:00 Do the dishes while listening to the Smith's "Louder Than Bombs". Then work some more on the computer before going to bed.
Posted by M Sinclair Stevens
July 02, 2002
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not a wisp of memory, feeling, or emotion