May 2nd, 2008
Pimpin’ My Hoe

Hoedown at May Dreams Gardens
Since Carol @ May Dreams Gardens got her hands on her, there’s been no stopping this hoe. She wants to get down and get dirty with those Indiana hoes.

Note: This post was written for today’s Hoe Down at May Dreams Gardens.

Like a faded wall-flower at the prom, my hoe is frequently overlooked and underappreciated. I prefer a garden fork and pruning shears for fighting my way through my root-laden clay. However, since Spring Fling, this hoe has been putting on airs. She had the thrill of a little one-on-one action with Carol, connoisseur of hoes, the hoe-stess with the mostest.

As I handed the hoe over to Carol’s capable hands, she eyed it critically. “Needs sharpening.” was her assessment.

“But how do you use it?” I asked, perplexed. “Do you dig with the pointy end? chop with the curved blade?” I want to pull it through the dirt like a plow blade but the angle of attack seems all wrong.

Carol slid her hand up and down the wooden handle, testing the center of balance. “Like this,” she demonstrated with a few smooth, easy strokes on the chipped bark path. My hoe’s finest moment. Carol looked around. “You don’t really have the right kind of garden for hoes. You need a vegetable garden. With rows.”

Unloved hoe. She knows her best days are behind her.

by M Sinclair Stevens

16 Responses to post “Pimpin’ My Hoe”

  1. From Lori, Austin Texas:

    Heehee. Your hoe has excellent taste in footwear.

  2. From Frances:

    OMG, that is one sexy hoe! Is that a leopard top she is wearing? And the boots, and the pose! She may need to be hoe-sed down, or maybe you just need a vegetable garden with diagonal rows to keep her mind off other things. Great story.

  3. From Carol, May Dreams Gardens:

    I suspect that when you ‘innocently’ asked me to show you how to use your hoe, you were really trying to get me to hoe up your garden, like Tom Sawyer got all those boys to whitewash that fence for him!

    You hoe is most assuredly ‘best dressed’ today. I can only wonder where that orange boot came from. Surely the hoe didn’t borrow that from you???

    Indeed…exactly like an uppity daughter who raids Mom’s closet and then asks to borrow the keys to the sports car. –mss

  4. From Crafty Gardener:

    Heigh Hoe, good morning. I see we have a hoe in common. My hoes are getting some days off work because it is raining. Stop by The Gardener Side and visit.

  5. From Sherry from the Zoo In Indy:

    Ahhh…poor little hoe! She is desperate for attention, isn’t she? Did you ever get her sharpened up?

    She’s still the dullest tool in the box. But at least she doesn’t have any screws loose. — mss

  6. From Gail:

    Be careful there is surely a rake nearby waiting to take advantage of your hoe.

  7. From Jared, Pleasant Hill Rambles:

    Best post title of the day! You and Gail (above) are the wittiest of the day, too! I laughed out loud.

    I’ve never paid for a hoe, don’t think I’ll ever have the need for a hoe, but it’s fun to see yours!

  8. From Kim:

    LOL!!! I love this post, MSS. And I really hope that those are your boots. That would be sweet.

    They are indeed my boots. Not retro, either but the originals from the 1970s. I still wear them on occasion. — mss

  9. From Layanee:

    Your hoe looks happy to be out and about in style! Lots of life left in that hoe! She does have nice boots or should I say boot!

  10. From Rose at Prairie Rose's Garden:

    Well, if I looked like this, I wouldn’t want to get down and dirty, either! Very clever post. She wins my vote for best dressed hoe!

  11. From Pam/Digging (Austin):

    Your hoe is definitely the best dressed, though I am fond of Cindy’s CobraHead in the white cowboy hat too.

  12. From entangled:

    What a hoot! I was already smiling, but when I got to Gail’s comment I almost sprayed tea all over the keyboard.

  13. From deb:

    Oh no, you di’nt. Too funny.

  14. From Bonnie, Austin:

    I think she may have a new life as a foot model. Give a hoe a chance, MSS!

    Well, okay. I’ll put her to work today, loosening up the clay and rocks where I want to dig French drains. — mss

  15. From Dana Frank:

    Oh, wow, I knew those were those bodacious boots of yours that your hoe was wearing. I cracked up. Such a seductive pose. My husband’s hoe, Dolores, would never fit in that snug thigh-high. But then again, his baby got back.

    Too bad you aren’t a blogger. You could have sent Carol @ May Dreams Gardens a photo of Dolores (the back-hoe).

  16. From kate:

    Her best days may be behind her, but at least she has one good-looking pair of boots to reside in.

    She really wants to go live with Carol @ May Dreams Gardens. — mss